~Random Updates~

Been busy with my thesis writing lately. A bunch of chromatograms, spectrums and data calculations to be done. Struggling with excel and treatment of figures into tables. Yeah, I admit I'm a noob in excel. Countless numbers and equations! Hope Hnin have ample of patience trying to understand. Feeling lucky I don't need to include anova *Sigh*

The tools that's a must for thesis writing-Since Dictionary.com is down for maintenance.

Mani I did for Christmas. Gonna re-do for Cny-in red this time :)

Travelled to bro's campus the other day. Dad keep pestering me with which course/uni I would take/enter for my postgrad studies. *Dilemma*

And I managed to catch a glimpse of this-Who's interested to go with me?
Find out more on wtusa.com

Oh and did I mention about my belated 21st birthday pressie? My first Coach Collectibles. Thanks Weng Hwa. ;)

~Shoes, Shoes, I Love You~

While walking at the mall recently, I was disturbed by the sound of my shoes squeaking. I felt as if everyone was turning to see whose shoes were making so much noise.

It is not a good sign when your shoes squeak, it means there is a problem, and for the amount I spent on them, they should be near perfect! I like my shoes to 'speak' to me, but not literally!

Good shoes are hard to find. Which is one of the reasons most women have more pairs than they need. It is not enough for the shoes to look good, they must feel good. But alas, shoes, like people fall under the 'looks are deceiving' category. How many of us have kicked off our shoes the moment we have sat down during a function? Shoes tend to go by the two hour standing quotient. Once you pass that, your feet will be killing you. And with shoes escalating to amazing heights, yes, there are 6 inch heels, how are you supposed to stand longer than 10 minutes?

I am constantly searching for the so-called perfect shoe. Its quite like searching for the perfect bag, except, my bags don't hurt me physically, only financially. Sadly, its elusive and you keep buying and buying and end up with 20 or so pairs of shoe that none of them will be just right with the outfit you want to wear.

So you have to find THAT pair. Of course thats an impossible task because you see several other pairs that are perfect for other occasions. And these shoes wont go with anything in your wardrobe. Which means buying clothes to wear with those shoes plus still finding shoes for your existing wardrobe. Its a vicious cycle.

The irony is even with so many shoes, you tend to wear the same pairs all the time. I have shoes I haven worn because they dont go with anything. I cant remember why I bought them, they are the wrong color, shape, look.. Yeah, what on earth possessed me to even buy them in the first place?

Why did I need sandals in four different shades of pink? Why did I think wedges with pink flamingos on the heel looked cute?(actually, they really are pretty) Why did I buy yellow sandals again? Oh right. It was summer, they looked good.

I have driving shoes I don't drive in,heels I cant walk in, shoes that seem only made for walking on carpets and a ton of black shoes in different styles. Why? because black goes with everything. So does silver and gold. And every other colour because shoes are gorgeous enough to be statement pieces.

While recovering from my squeaky shoes(trust me, it can be traumatic to have noisy shoes), I tried on a pair of shoes.

Ah, this is another thing, when we find a style we love, we must buy two pairs!! A wear and a spare. The design might be discontinued and we are deperately looking for something similar. This has happened several times, and you are mourning the death of that perfect pair. RIP my love.

If that model returns, they have done something crazy to it. It is like an experiment gone wrong and now looks like the grotesque mutated twin of your previously divine shoe. Why do brands love doing this? If it aint broke, dont fix it! I have said goodbye to several beautiful shoes while watching their hideous siblings take centerstage.

What most of us do now, in case of shoes emergencies(like rotten weather, your soles feel like they are on fire or those shoes you are breaking in are breaking your feet), is keep several pairs of shoes in the car.

This is a new development, actually. I never kept shoes in the car before and when someone asked why, I would say if my car got stolen, I would lose my precious shoes. Yeah, who cares about the car, it just takes you from point A to point B. Someone, obviously not a shoe person remarked that shoes do that too. But really, shoes vs cars?

As I looked at the shoe boxes piling up in my house, I wonder when the madness would end. But do I want it to? As for my squeaky shoes, they are going back to the boutique for rehabilitation. Next time I see them, they would better be whispering, not whining.

~Exposing to the pain of being hurt, Deeply hurt by someone whom I placed trust upon~

Who understands the Pain I am enduring through?? None of You I would say. Yes. Its N O N E!!

Being the First to know, it hurts. But being the Last to know, it hurts More. Much Much More.
It seems I am Stupid. I have no feelings, felt no Pain, does not hurt, is that what You all suppose I will? I am?
And not told by the bearer who brought me Pain. But by whom I Love. So much. Could anyone imagine how? One's your best pal, one's your lover. Judge it yourself.
Still thanks to her. Or I would still be left wondering. So irresponsible of You.

And I really Hate people makes me decide. Because I really HATE deciding.
Choosing between two most important person, one being a friend and a sister, another a friend and a lover. I am greedy. Why cant I choose both? I am given No options, No choice.
You want end this, You wan tell me that the decision I made is perfectly wrong, is it?
You can maintain and be back friends with all Your ex(s). Why cant u do it for me?
I am really curious to know how much feelings, how much efforts, care and Love you put in our friendship? So little that You can end it so Easily? Is it everything that we did together, I put in so did You, what we share, happiness and pain. Is it all A LIE??
I HATE You for the pain Uve brought me. You carved a Scar in my life. And I Hate You!

Humans are greedy. Yes I hesitatingly agreed.
They always have this mindset of 'how much they sacrificed is how much they should get in return'. Even me, I admit, I do.
But I will still say its Childish. This is a reality world. Materialized. Globalized. That theory certainly doesn't work here.
You just have to Admit, Accept, Live by it.
If You think its unfair, then how bout me? The pain Ive endured through my family since i was small. Was it fair to me then?? I am born to it. I cant change any. You think I want it? But can I choose? No!
Yet, I dint make a big deal out of it. Although I shedded tears and complaint. I lived with it. Because I believed everything happens for a reason. God's purpose. His plan.

I know You sacrificed lots. I saw. But You think I didn't? My sacrifices, You wont be able to see. I once because to hold on to our friendship, I let go. Of her. You knew that? No You dint!
Only some hardly knew. Because I seek them for their opinion.

And I did things I never done before. For her.
You know why always I escaped when I saw You with her? One, because I was hurt to see. Really hurt. But I told myself to be patient. I hold back. It was hard. You knew it. Two, because I wanted to create opportunity for both of You.
But then, You got to her, did You care bout me? Your attention was always left to her. I was alone. Did You noticed? I always hide myself, library, went back campus early. Sit faraway from both of You. Did You care bout my feelings back then? I was so dissapointed.
With Kl, it was like that. With Marcus, still like that. With Mun also. Now with her, lagi no need say. You always dumped me at the side. And one of why I developed slight depression in foundation. All thanks to You.

My first birthday wish. I wished it was not from her. I wished it was from You.
But You really dissapointed me.

The tears. That I cried for You. You wont be able to replace it back. Because it was too much. Too deep.
I regretted for not heeding Marcus, Albert and Kuang fu's advice for letting go of You when I faced relationship probs with You. For back then I wont suffer that much as I do now.

Still here, I sincerely thank you. For the joy. For the pain. For every single thing You have did for me. I would not forget You. I will still treat You as my friend. Although You don't. Because I realized something that You didn't. God answered my prayers. I have that thing. You don't. Maybe You will understand the reason behind it. Not now. You will discover it slowly.

I too, wish You all the best here.
Goodbye, my Friend.

Regards.